Quartz in the Rough

Persistence is the key to so many things. When I was a little kid I wanted to learn to ride a bike, but I had to fall off a few times before I was able to successfully ride down the street – even after I could ride around the block, I suffered from the occasional spill. However, if I never got back on a bike after my first skinned knee, or even after my sixth or seventh, I never would have felt glorious wind on my face as I rode up and down the Venice Beach boardwalk as an adult. Trials and failures will eventually lead to success, as long as one continues to try.

As is evident in my previous blogs, I have wiped out numerous times when attempting to online date. I have tried to engage with the men I’ve met online – giving them the benefit of the doubt and trying to picture myself with them in once capacity or another. However, in all previous five instances where I’ve actually met a man from the other end of my internet connection, they’ve turned out to be helplessly and hopelessly incompatible with me. I openly discuss how much I despise online dating, but like I did when I fell off of my bicycle, after each failed meeting I dusted myself off and tried again.

I am happy to report the sixth time was the charm - or at least has given me a glimmer of hope.

A man recently initiated conversation with me and he wasn’t the exactly my usual “type,” but he was well written and clearly had spent time on his profile, so I decided to entertain him. Our conversations and emails actually intimidated me! He was so eloquent and measured in his emails that I wondered what he would be like in real life, but I knew he’d be smart.

We decided to go out and I actually enjoyed an online date for the first time ever! He spent time thinking about where we should go and what we should eat. We went out for a great wine and small plates from a fantastic restaurant in town, near my place. He was chivalrous and I found myself hoping that he liked me instead of me trying to make myself like him. Conversation was easy and while getting to know each other we told stories, laughed, and related to one another.

Afterwards he walked me home and I was a little bit awkward (of course) because if he wanted to go in for a kiss I didn’t give him much of an opportunity… because I’m awkward and get nervous.

The good news is we both had a good time and have said we should do it again soon. I think he’ll get a second date and, if he’s lucky, he might even get a record third date – something that’s never happened when I’ve met someone online.

I’m not head over heels in love, but it’s nice to look forward to seeing someone and to give something meaningful a chance to grow. Looks like I might be done falling down for a while and may actually get to ride my bike down the street!