Out of Town Phenomenon

Why is it that I find it so difficult to find people who live and work near me to date, while it's effortless to find visitors? A dumb question. Obviously it’s because of the “no strings attached” premise that inevitably accompanies out-of-towners. When you are on vacation, or someone else is, there is no pressure of “what happens next?” You are both able to enjoy one another’s company and then get back to your daily lives without required thoughts, actions, or expectations.

In theory, this whole practice seems ideal. Two people have a good time and don’t have to worry about looming future conversations and interactions. However, I would argue that no matter how fun it seems at the time there is still uneasiness present. Though you can leave a situation feeling like you were satisfied – not to mention in control – undoubtedly over the upcoming days, weeks, or months, your thoughts may eventually drift to that other person, wondering whether or not they will defy expectations and try to build on your fling, wondering whether your paths will cross again, even wondering if you want your paths to cross.

I’ve encountered this out of town fling more than once – with varying degrees of fling-age and, despite being burned before by someone who said he’d follow up once he was back at home and did nothing, I have once again have put myself in a position to be disappointed.

I met someone (of course) who lives states away from me (of course). When I first saw him, I was attracted to him. His physique was strong and he was handsome. Perhaps a little bit quiet at first, but opened up about his life and experiences significantly over the course of only a few days. I hate to say it, but he’s definitely “my type” if I have one.

When he was ready to hit the road I was left wondering, where is this man in relation to me? Was I just some out of town fun, or is he at all considering keeping up with me and perhaps visiting again? Unfortunately, the nature of out of town play is that you don’t ask those questions. You play it cool. You exchange numbers and tell them to let you know if they swing back through town, while you wonder (perhaps hope) that they take action above and beyond your very minimal expectations.